Am getting excited. Have been reviewing live music dates online, and other events, and NYC has something we want to see and do every minute of every day. It's sensory overload--so so much to offer, and all the time, no stopping, no cultural, artistic, or musical droughts, ever. Is that possible? Of course it is, but I have never lived in the midst of such abundance. Can I handle it? Will my head explode?

Am worried about my dogs. NYC will be even more overwhelming for them than for us. Can they handle it? Will their little heads explode? Will I get used to having to pick up their poop? Yet another luxury of living in the Midwest--we have enough room, enough space and land, and fewer people and dogs, that we don't have to scoop poop--yet. We have been told to buy these special little baggies that are sold in pet stores--they let you pick up the poop, then reverse the bag and close it--the people I am descended from would think a special bag for dog poop is hilarious, and even funnier to them would be the people who would pay money for such a thing.

Am feeling sad about leaving my house. I am excited to go to NY--my husband and I both will be better for it--I just love my house. Rough as it is--it's a massive fixer upper--we have put a lot of sweat and tears into it in the last 8 years. The first floor is finally almost complete, and now we are leaving. We are renting to a friend who I love like a brother but who is a dirty, dirty boy. Dirty dirty Iowa farm boy. My white bathroom will be gray when I get back. My floors will be scratched and stained. The house will smell like stinky man and cat piss.

He is taking care of our 4 cats for us while we are gone. He loves animals and will give them plenty of attention, but the cleaning part worries me. Will he wash the blankets in their sleeping baskets at least once a month? Will he change their litter boxes out every week and clean up after their hair balls and "accidents," or will they be allowed to dry like little sculptures on my hardwood floors? Will he brush them when they are shedding? Yikes. I need to just not think about it, because it will make me sick.

I have started preparing an instruction manual for him. I know that's really psycho and obsessive, but I just can't help myself. He doesn't know about it yet. He will roll his eyes at me. I don't care. It will probably be about 50 pages long. But dammit, he is getting a sweet rental deal, so the least he can do is not turn my home into a crack house.

The State of New York has pissed me off already. I have to apply to the state for PERMISSION to take their state cosmetology board examinations, both practical and written, because I happen to only have been a licensed hairstylist for 3, as opposed to 5, years. I have to go through my industry's equivalent of the SATs AGAIN! And do so in New York, which of course will have a vastly different written test and practical exam than the ones I originally took. So I am basically starting all over again, as if I had just graduated from hair school. ARRRRGGGGGHHHHHH.

The State of NY doesn't have what is called reciprocity with the State of Kansas, meaning they don't accept a Kansas cosmetology license as being the equivalent of their own, even though Kansas requires 1500 hours of education to receive a license, while NY requires only 1000. NY cosmetology students go to school for about 6 months--Kansas students are in school for a year, but I have to retake the NY cosmetology tests to prove that I am qualified to slap hair around in Manhattan--please. It's a scam--it's a revenue producer for the state--it has to be, because when I asked what other states NY does have reciprocity with for cosmetology licenses, the answer was Arkansas and Alaska. I AM NOT KIDDING. How convenient is that--how many hairstylists move from Arkansas and Alaska to NY every year? There is a fee for applying for permission to take the NY tests, a fee for a temporary license that allows me to work as a hairstylist while I am studying for the tests, fees and material requirements for the tests themselves, and finally, a fee for the cosmetology license itself if I pass the NY exams. Wonderful.

The written test isn't a big deal, but the practical exam is a nightmare--you are in a tiny room with a zillion other really nervous people for about 3 hours in total silence--you are not allowed to speak or do anything unless the state cosmetology board inspectors tell you you can. You do a basic haircut in silence, you roll a perm in silence, you make pin curls and finger waves in total silence, and all the while inspectors are walking circles around you staring over your shoulder, grading your every move. It's enough pressure to cause a spontaneous attack of Tourettes Syndrome. Can't WAIT.

Screw it--I can handle it--bring it on NY--is that all ya got?

I've been on a packing spree. We are all but completely packed. I've had some moments. I got misty going through my books and choosing which will go with me and which will be stored. I have never been separated from them. Having all of them with me, and easily accessible on some shelf, is something I have always taken for granted.

Making a three bedroom house life fit into a Manhattan studio is tricky. What can we do without? What do I have room to bring that will help me feel like I still have my home, and my previous life, with me? Packing away your life is an emotional roller coaster ride. Moving from a home to an apartment feels like a step backwards. It won't really be my home, just some place I am staying. I remember the day my husband and I moved into our house 8 years ago. For the first time since leaving home for college, I was really home again.

There is something, though, that actually feels good about the whole process. I have learned how little we actually need in order to live. We are streamlining. I have learned, not surprisingly, that we have way too much CRAP. Where did we get all this shit? Why did we buy that stupid thing? What was I thinking dragging home all the fixer-upper furniture/knick knack junk that sits in the basement and the garage, that I actually paid money for? I am about to throw in a dumpster no less than 20 'projects.' The more room you have, the more stuff you buy--you start down that road and you don't stop--a personal indoor suburban sprawl, so to speak.

You can easily live with less than half of whatever you have right now.

This is what I have learned so far about telling people we are moving:

1) There is no way to tell people you are moving to a big city without sounding like an asshole. How do you say you are moving to a place like NY without sounding like you are bragging? You can't. No matter what I say, or how I say it, this is the way it feels when the words come out: 'I am moving to a big and important city, and you ARE NOT.'

2) When you move back home from a large city, people often assume that you did not do so by choice. You left NY, LA, wherever, and crawled back home because you are a LOSER. My husband and I have been barraged with theses types of stories. At the end of them, the people telling them say something like, 'Of course, that won't be the case with the two of you ...' We aren't sure how long we will be in NY, so when we do tell people we are going, we decided to say that it is only for a year or two. I hate to admit it, but my pride dictates that the one-year disclaimer be added to the moving sentence. Maybe I can't say we are moving, or moving back, without feeling like an asshole because I AM an asshole (sigh).

3) It seems EVERYONE has an NY story--a visit, or they lived there 10 years ago, and they have to tell you all about it, and give you lots of useless and/or outdated advice.

4) A lot of Midwesterners are as prejudiced against people from both coasts as many coasters are against Midwesterners. Said coasters think Midwesterners are dim-witted conservative hicks, and said Midwesterners think coasters are loud, lazy, and arrogant.

So, we're not telling anybody else we are moving--we're sending a mass e-mail after we are gone.

The Pros of Moving to New York:

1) Career development
2) Cultural and social stimulation
3) Getting far away from pain-in-the-ass "friends"/family
4) Conquering a big pile of fears and insecurities by being forced to face them
5) A fresh start--we have the chance to be more discerning about who we allow into our lives
6) No more yard work

The Cons of Moving to New York:
1) Leaving my kitty babies behind
2) Leaving my sweet little house and huge back yard behind
3) Leaving my comfort zone behind
4) Leaving fresh air and clean water behind--New York is fucking FILTHY (no offense)
5) Paying triple our monthly mortgage in rent

My husband and I are moving to New York soon. I am equal parts excited and terrified.

We are both Midwesterners--my husband was born and raised in St. Louis, and while I was born in New Jersey, I was raised in Nebraska. I met my husband in Kansas City, where we both have lived for more than a decade. We own a home in a Kansas suburb of the city, and have 4 cats and 2 dogs--right now the plan is the dogs are going to NY and the cats are staying home. We are renting our house to a friend, who will take care of the kitties, which makes me feel a little like Meryl Streep's character in "Sophie's Choice"--not really, that's a tasteless exaggeration, but it is strange to even think about, let alone choose, which of your "children" you will take with you, and which ones you will leave behind.

My husband is being promoted and transferred by his ad agency, and I am along for the ride. I am a hairstylist, primarily a colorist, and I love the idea of experiencing my profession practiced at the level of a Manhattan salon. It would be an amazing learning experience. The question is--can Dorothy swap Kansas for Manhattan? And survive, let alone thrive? We will find out. I started this blog to chronicle this huge life change for my own enjoyment, and to help me cope with it, so if anyone reads this and is bored out of your mind, I apologize, but blogging is free, and therapy isn't.